omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
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It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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