i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
