we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
