Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
