it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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