420 ftw
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
