People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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