I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
