Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
