using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
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We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
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I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
why is half of my head shaved?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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