she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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