Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
