Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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