So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
