the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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