So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
