my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
