Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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