Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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