my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
