Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize