Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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