love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
