If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
