how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize