I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
