She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
