I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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