She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
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I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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