U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
