You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
