She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
