You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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