Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
