I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
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I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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