you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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