But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
