I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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