Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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