It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
