Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
