I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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