her vagine was all disorganized.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
