It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
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he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
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I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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