Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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