its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
