there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
