well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
