She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
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I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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