dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
