how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize