just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
