worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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