dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
4 words: hood of his car
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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