I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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