A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
