I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
