whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
