After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
