My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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