fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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