I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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