I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
